hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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