So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
