u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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