Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
