she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
