Sry I called you an 8
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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