Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
