Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
