Kiss
Puke
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
