Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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