oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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