4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
