It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He felt like a one man threesome
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
