it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
