carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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