Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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