sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
