so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
