The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
