You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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