Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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