Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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