There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
