I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Me too!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
