Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
