i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
