it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
