Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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