I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
