If i come over, it means nothing
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
