There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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