They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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