Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
