8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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