This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
