bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
