she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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