batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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