just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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