Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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