Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
