i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
