Will you blow on my dice?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
