Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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