y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
