Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
