I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
