I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
