Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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