i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
